When The Struggle Comes

Have you ever wondered why God brings you to things in life? Why He has you going through something, especially if it’s painful and messy? Why He would bring you to immense struggle that leaves you reeling in disillusion and seeming despair?

I've been there many times in my life. I'm walking through a struggle right now, and I now understand that this struggle will be with me probably for the rest of my life. I could sit and wring my hands and complain and bemoan the fact that I am going through something hard, or I could look at it for the truth that it is. A testing period. An intense pressing for character revelation.

When I became a Christ follower it was hard to make right decisions all the time, but I felt the immense love and guidance from the Lord and so really at that time it was easier than what it is now, as I have recently realized. Now I am invested in the Lord, now I am in a more mature spot than I was all those years ago, now my trials and pressing are heavier and carry more weight with it. In my early days as a Christ follower, I think I missed some things, I missed that humble lesson many times. I was arrogant in my faith. You can't tell me you haven't walked those steps, I think its something we all go through.

When you walk blindly and arrogantly into a trap, a snare, a plan that Satan set up so nice and pretty for you...it is easy to become disillusioned and distracted by the circumstance and not the lesson the Lord has allowed to come to you. He has allowed your pressing. He has allowed your testing. He never leaves you or forsakes you in it, but allows you to go through it. Sometimes we walk upright and proud in our self-worth and self-faith. We like to tell ourselves that this faith we have is strong in the Lord, until trials come along and we are knocked to our knees, crying pitifully on the floor of our own making. We may have the foundation from God, but we cover over it with what we want and desire and so our foundation is strong yet its coverings are an illusion. We have no choice in those moments but to become humble. God has a way of stripping down the illusion and bringing you to His way of thinking.

The testing periods have no time limit.

Mine lasted a good 2 years. He took everything I thought I knew about Him in my arrogance and stripped it down to the bare bones. He made me re-evaluate my faith in Him. He made me re-think why I believed what I did. He made me fight for His place in my life. He stripped that arrogance and pride from me over days, weeks, months, and years. My mind was focused for a long time at my anger at my circumstance and anger at Him.

Until my desire became Him. I had known an existence that was easy to be with Him, and to spout out His Word arrogantly at people. I was a good arguer for the Lord. I could melt opponents from the fire and wrath of my tongue. I was good at cowing people down- had been good at it before I even knew Christ and became worse afterwards. That wasn't a loving heart. I was even arrogant in my 'loving' people- it was a 'I have Christ therefore I love you' attitude and it wasn't heartfelt and heart warming. I could walk away from people easily. I taught in arrogance and pretend humbleness. Until the Lord just had enough. He set on me a testing that took years. He made me start from scratch and rebuild my faith in Him. I had to WANT Him, I had to SEEK Him, I had to FIGHT for Him.

All of that in the most intense battle and struggle I have ever had to go through. It wasn't enough for me to say I had faith, I had to live it, breathe it and hang onto the hem of His garment with all of my might. I have had a cross to bear ever since that day that it began. The more I walk with Him, carrying this cross of mine, the more struggles I go through. Christian life is not and should not be an easy one. Whoever said following Christ would be an easy life, obviously never read scripture and never met Jesus.

Your struggles are there as a part of this faith-life. Our struggles are there to help us grow IN HIM. They are there to help us re-evaluate our faith and beliefs and the "why's" of both. Jesus was tested in the wilderness. Why would we be different? If you really look at His life and ministry, He had opportunity after opportunity to walk away from a hard human life. He had no home, but what others were willing to provide. He was always coming up against opposition- almost constantly and yet kept His focus on the Father. He is a God that understands the thoughts, emotions, and decisions that we have to go through while we are in human form, but He also sent His Spirit to dwell inside of us to guide us. We are close to God because He sent His Spirit to dwell INSIDE of believers.

We know we are not alone in these struggles, because His word declares the Truth about Himself and the Holy Spirit.

John 14:16    And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Holy Spirit), to be with you forever.

Isaiah 12:2  Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my strength and my defense.

Sometimes in our struggles it becomes all about what we are doing wrong, but sometimes it is really about what we are doing right. We are all called to specific tasks in His Name. Our walk isn't easy like I said before, which means that every step has the potential for struggle. If we want something bad enough we will fight for it.

Countries are never conquered with just intentions, there always has to be action. There is always opposition from those they are trying to conquer and yet the struggles they face, although enormous, are just a part of the overall plan. Our human struggles in life whether they be mental, physical, financial etc aren't the big picture although we get caught up and fixated on what is in front of us and it seems so pressing during it. No, the big picture is what God has centered on us to do for His Kingdom.

What He has personally equipped you with. What task He has set before you. What talent or gifting He has given you for the advancement of His kingdom or to help someone else in need. The struggle isn't the focus. The struggle is a character pressing, a 'find out what you're made of' type of soul searching, but while we go through it, we can't let it consume us. If we allow it to consume us, we aren't heeding the call of the Holy Spirit within us. We are also living in a fallen world and we are not just battling the seen but the unseen as well. We are fighting the minions of the evil one and his plans he has against those that belong to God. So in that struggle, know that Satan is against you and is trying to keep your focus off of the Living God, he's trying to keep you away from the Living Word and the Power of the Word. Keep your focus on God, resist the evil one and he will flee from you.

Lord, help us as we walk through this life. Help us take the magnified focus off of our struggles and put them back where they belong; on You. Guide us through the troubled waters we find ourselves in today and help us to keep hanging onto You, as You are our life raft. God we are unable to see the whole picture, but Lord we thank You for the glimpses of eternity You have given us. Thank You for Your Word as it is Light in the darkness of this world, we thank You for the Truth spelled out for us in black and white and we thank You for the Holy Spirit that resides in us. Lord, help us to find joy in the middle of our sufferings and trial and not complain and bemoan our circumstance, but to see that You are there with us and You never will leave us to do it all alone. We love You Lord, thank You for loving us. In the Holy and Precious Name of Jesus. AMEN... 

Half Time Matters

As I sit to write this, half time on Sunday is already a distant memory on social media.  Today, all anyone cares about is the fact that Nancy Pelosi tore up President Trump’s State of the Union speech.  Tomorrow, we’ll find something new to rage about.

However, something about Sunday’s Super Bowl halftime with Shakira and Jennifer Lopez has been weighing on me for the past few days.  I’m always a “slow to respond” type of person.  I typically have thoughts, but I also know I’m capable of sinning in my response, so I am usually slow to speak.

In the past three days, I have seen the full spectrum of thoughts regarding the sexually charged performance.  Thankfully, about 2 minutes into the show, my wife sounded the alarm and we quickly shut the TV off.  We explained to our kids why we did and life moved on. We resumed the game once the players came back on the field.

In writing this, I understand that people who don’t follow Jesus will not agree with me.  I’m ok with that…I honestly expect that.  I am writing for my church, the people I pastor day in and day out.  The people I walk with and shepherd through trials, victories, births and death.

HALF TIME MATTERS.

Friends, it matters what we give our “yes” to.  When we say YES to allowing sexually graphic images through our eyes and into our minds, they eventually take up residence in our hearts. 

We are deceived if we think that what is in our hearts won’t eventually bear fruit in our lives.  And Jesus won’t share residency with sin.

Having been a pastor now for over twenty years, I have sat across the table from countless people who have had their lives torn apart by the destructive power of sexual sin. 

I have counseled those hooked on pornography.

I have cried with the spouse who is in disbelief that they would ever be cheated on.

I have walked with the adulterer who never believed they would actually cross the line.

I have counseled sex addicts who want to be different, but find themselves in the arms of a prostitute over and over again.

And then there is the person who hasn’t been caught yet.  They have somehow, wiggled their way out of the mess each time...but even they know, they’re about to get burned.

The list goes on and on…and every time, it’s heartbreaking to watch it all unfold.  I grieve for the people I pastor because I want so much more for them.

As I talk to them though, each one talks about where things started.  It all started in their thought life.  It started with WHAT THEY SAID YES TO long before the affair.

Long before the chat room.

Long before the hooker.

HALF TIME MATTERS because it’s the FIRST DOOR that leads to the next door, which leads to the room you don’t want to leave, and eventually to a door you thought you’d never walk through and now you’re in a room you can’t leave.

I get it, there’s the naysayer who says “I’m good…that stuff doesn’t bother me.”

That’s a lie.  I know I won’t convince you that it is…but it is.

Then there is the person who says:  “That was harmless, if I looked that good at 43 and 50, I’d be shaking it like that too…y’all are making a big deal out of nothing.”

That rationale is careless and only shows that you haven’t actually thought through anything more than your first gut reaction.

Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Here’s the truth.

Many of us have become “OK” with… A HINT OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY.

We’ve become so desensitized, that A HINT of sexual immorality is easily dismissed and deemed inconsequential.

Sure, we will call out the BIG SINS.

We say…”how can a person get to a place where they are paying someone for sex?”

“How do they keep having multiple affairs?”

“Why would they throw their family away for that guy or that girl?”

Friends, this is a SANITIZED list. 

Stop in and visit your local Sex Addicts Anonymous group on any given Saturday morning

You will hear sordid stories that are unmentionable here or in a church service.

THEY ALL STARTED WITH A HINT.  Every person, every story…STARTED WITH A HINT.

Paul knew that the HINT of sexual immorality eventually led to death. 

So he implored us, DON’T EVEN LET THERE BE A HINT.

Based on what I’ve read online about the half time show, I’d say it was WELL BEYOND A HINT.

So whether you turned it off on Sunday or you thought it was spectacular, there will be another choice in the near future.

Will you choose to just minimize it…dismiss it?

If you’re legitimately following Christ, there really isn’t a biblical response that would give you permission to keep watching.

RELATIONSHIPS: Sometimes You Have to Walk Away

There are times when we go through rough patches in our lives. Most of the times it seems as though every thing, every problem, every wrong word, every protection of ourselves is magnified negatively because we follow Christ. We all tend to get a little nostalgic around the Christmas season. We have a feeling of good will towards men. We forget why we left relationships because we are so caught up in the season of happiness and joy.

I have found personally this is the season when I am attacked by the enemy the most. When I am attacked, it is always through a person that at some point I had a relationship or friendship with. The enemy likes to knock us off kilter and make us say and do things that makes us look like we are not following the footsteps of Christ. The enemy is always seeking those out who have a closer relationship with God and those who have someone in their past that they have fallen out of relationship with.

We all do at some point.

We don't live in a bubble.

We aren't completely protected from bad things just because we are following Jesus.

So how are we as Christ followers supposed to act when the enemy pits a person of our past against us? How are we supposed to just 'Let it Go and Let God'? I will tell you that it is easier said than done!

In my own personal life, recently I had just an occasion and it gave me a moment of pause and reflection. This person hurt me tremendously over and over again which is why I had to end the relationship to begin with. Every year it seems to bring another attack on me through mutual people that we know.

It seems that I try to let it go and it keeps being shoved in my face. This person at one time was as close to me as a person can get as a friend and confidant. We did life together. We helped each other out of jams. We saw past each other’s flaws and grew into a very deep friendship.

I was introduced to God somewhere along our journey. I had grown up my entire life hearing about God and never knowing Him. I watched the love and kindness my grandparents poured out to everyone, even strangers at the grocery store and knew I wanted to be like them. After I was introduced to Christ...I met Christ and was saved by Christ. After my salvation, it didn't seem as though my life had changed much.

I then began being hungered for His Word. I studied. I prayed even though I didn't really know how to. I slowly began to become a different person seeking the Presence of God and a relationship with Him.

I began a different lifestyle and existence. I wanted more from my life than what had been offered to me so far. In scripture, it tells me that Jesus is my friend, that HE calls you and I “friend”.

"Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knows not what the master does: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15

I began to see stark differences in my life and that of my friend. I began to see how badly I was being treated over and over again and more and more often. The closer I grew to God the further she pushed me away. She lived a lifestyle that I didn't want to be around any longer, lest I stumble and fall.

I was not going to hide or dim my Light around her because it made her uncomfortable. I let my lifestyle be the judge and it annoyed her. She didn't really want to be around me either, which meant we sought each other out less and less. I wanted God and I wanted godly friendships. I didn't want to go back to what I had been and the things that God had already delivered me from. 

So, the final death knells began to sound in my heart. I was no longer willing to hang onto something that was NO LONGER BENEFICIAL TO MY WALK WITH THE LORD. Because of this decision, I was called judgmental. Actually it was the Word washing me and cleansing me and growing me in my walk.

This pruning wasn't easy for me, it hurt me terribly to walk away from a friendship that I had worked so hard to cultivate and grow. I had spent years making sure that it was as healthy as it could be.

The Lord wanted me to walk away from it.

To walk away from that lifestyle and walk away from people that weren't sold out for Jesus.

It was rough. I mourned as though she had died. I let her go.

However, the enemy won't allow that shattered friendship to rest in the grave where it belongs. The enemy digs it up and tries to breathe life into the same offense, but fails because HE CAN'T GIVE LIFE TO ANYTHING.

The enemy blames God. The person that the enemy is using is judging me for thinking I am judging her.

The enemy does sneak attacks.

The enemy accuses.

The enemy will try every tactic he possibly can to keep us focused on what is swirling around, the lies being spoken about us and will try his best to sew discord in the life of believers. Especially at Christmas time, when we are supposed to be full of joy and goodwill as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. His goal is to try and SNATCH OUR PEACE OF MIND and have us mad and focused on anger instead of the goodness of God.

As these new accusations swirled around me, in a very public forum. I paused. I paused because they weren't just attacks against me but another follower of Christ that was trying to leave the old lifestyle behind and walk in the newness of Christ.

I paused because I was sad.

I paused because I was hurt.

I paused because that is what we should do before we respond to anything.

I also reflected.

I reflected on past hurts and old attacks.

I reflected on the lies that the enemy was telling.

I reflected on the person who obviously has never healed or forgiven, but has held on to a grudge.

This grudge has become a poison. It is deep and deadly.

I reflected because it’s something you should do before you move forward in response.

I didn't respond to her personally, but I did respond with praises for God.

He is responsible for all the good things that happened in my life. He is responsible for my salvation, my sanctification and will be responsible for my glorification when I get to Heaven. He CALLED ME OUT OF DARKNESS and called me to walk upright and in the Light. To walk in obedience to His Word.

I praise. That is how I get through the rough times. I praise Him.

I praise Him for the good and the bad things that happen to me.

I praise Him because I can mentally and emotionally suffer for His glory.

I praise Him because He helped me walk away,

He helped me let go and He helped me to honor His Name with how I live my life.

I don't always get it right, I mess up and I fail, I lash out at times and I get enraged at things...but I try to pause... I try to reflect... I try to be obedient to His Word and then I praise Him.

* As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.* Joshua 24:15

DETOURS

There are many times in life when you travel down roads you could have never foreseen. We ourselves often take detours and halfway there realize we took the wrong route, took the wrong exit or turned before it was time. Sometimes we think we couldn't possibly be on the right road because its bumpy, full of holes and feels unsafe. We sometimes turn around in fear of going too far into the unknown and miss the next curve that is supposed to be our destination.

How alike is our walk with God. He is guaranteed to take us into unknown and terrifying territory where we feel unsafe on our own, but for His Presence. The past 9 months have taken me and my family on such a journey. The devastation of my husband's brain bleed, stroke, seizures (4), coma (2), kidney failure(2), pneumonia, blood clot in the lung and his subsequent aphasia (speech, memory) was unknown terrifying territory. The miracle is that he has survived and strived. We were forced to travel down a road where we did not know the outcome.

We didn't know if he would live or die. We didn't know if he would know our names, remember our faces or be able to speak clearly. The first coherent thought I could think was Jesus. I couldn't pray. I could only say Jesus. My emotions were numb, but my faith was intact. I had to delve into a territory I had never gone to before. I had to examine every possibility from vegetative life to planning a funeral, my heart refused to accept some of those scenarios but I also knew I had to live in the real world. I had a peace that surpassed all understanding. I felt the Lord walking with me down that hallway 20 times a day and back. He held me upright on days I was so exhausted I could barely think. He made His Presence known in the clamping down of my lips against harsh words and bitterness.

Only one time was I able to read God's Word in those busy days. I was never left alone and there was never any silence. One night my sister brought me her bible to read because I needed His Word and I didn't realize I was hungry for it. I snapped pictures of a few scriptures that spoke to me, so I could look at them when I needed a lifting of God's Word.

**Unto thee will I cry, O LORD my Rock; be not silent to me: lest if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit. Hear the voice of my supplications , when I cry unto thee, when I lift up my hands towards the Holy oracle** Psalm 28:1-2

**Blessed be the LORD, because He hears the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield, my heart trusted in Him and I am helped therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song I will praise Him** Psalm 28: 6-7

**Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning** Psalm 30:5

**God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be moved and the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea...** Psalm 46:1-2

God's Word is a strength to us.

I literally had no strength in myself. I barely slept and when I did it was constantly interrupted. I drank coffee all day everyday. I didn't eat right and lived off of nachos, scrambled eggs and cheese fries. Suddenly all the things that my husband had been responsible for were dropped into my lap. I had to figure out how to run our life from a hospital ICU waiting room because I refused to leave. I refused to not be there if I was needed for anything big or small. It was up to me to make every decision involving his life and treatment. God guided my every step. Every keystroke He made sure was the right one. He made me hyper attentive to every detail and somehow made me remember Dr.s, nurses, medicines and terminology. He even sent someone to battle for me when something needed to be said.

That road was harsh and brutal at times and yet I see the beauty.

I don't know why it was that God has had us travel this road that we are still on. I know that in time His perfect plan will be revealed to us. There is a purpose. Even if it was to make me a more compassionate person it was worth it. It is worth it to see my husband go back to work. It was worth it to see him speaking more clearly every week. It was worth it to see the miracle that God has performed. I watched him conduct business today by himself only supplying things I knew he didn't know or remember...it was such a joy. It hasn't even been a year and yet here he is, defying the odds and living his life. He is so thankful and it has made me thankful.

If you feel you are on a detour of your life, look to God. Go to His Word, speak His promises back to Him, and remind Him of His Word. Trust Him completely. When you are feeling like you are on the wrong road, talk to God- He may want you right where you are for HIS purpose, no matter how scary, how uncertain, how unpredictable it is... that next curve could be your destination, it just doesn't look like a road you would take to get there. Abide in Christ.

LORD, we thank You for Your many blessings and we thank You for Your Son's sacrifice. LORD help us to realize our purpose, and that every detour You take us on is meant to grow us, change us, teach us, guide us, or open our eyes to something we have been blinded to. Remind us LORD that You are our Sovereign King and that nothing comes to us as believers that doesn't go through Your Hands first. Change our hearts daily to serve Your purpose and help us to preach Your Word and live out Your Word...in the Mighty Name of Jesus...Amen

The Joy of Serving

I never thought much about serving other people. I have always been a person that sees myself as a hard person. I didn't have the easiest childhood growing up. I was rebellious as a teen and young adult and it carried on into my adulthood. Even when I became a follower of Christ over 10 years ago, I never realized the 'behind the scenes' aspect of the church. I sat in the same church for 7 years only knowing ONE person. One.

Let that sink in for a minute.

I was faithful to keep showing up in obedience for church attendance. That was the only area pretty much that I was obedient in. I sat alone most of the time, unless someone in my family happened to attend with me. I fellow-shipped with, well, myself.

I had no mentor at that time to come along beside me and help me walk the path God had called my heart to. I bought bible studies and tried to study the Word on my own. Here I was walking in the newness of Christ and had no clue if I was doing it right or if I was doing it completely wrong. I wanted God. I needed Him. I also needed something more.

I loved my preacher, but didn't know him or have a personal relationship with him. I shook people's hands when it was time for the greeting, but that was the absolute extent of my 'fellowship'. If I am honest I always got severe anxiety when it came to shaking people's hands. I had always said I don't 'like' people, but God has a way to soften even the hardest of hearts. Walking in the newness of Christ also found me fighting spiritual battles that I had no clue how to even fight. 

The one person I knew in the entire church kept after me to get involved and to serve. I didn't like hugs, but she kept on hugging me and telling me that she loved me.

She battered me with kindness, love and a driving desire to see me get connected. She was relentless in her pursuing of me. My heart began to soften. I heard myself agreeing to get involved in co-leading a bible study group with her. She took me under her wing and she not just mentored me, but she ministered to me. She was serving me.

I didn't realize it at the time, but God had put her in my life to batter the wall I had built around myself and heart until finally it crumbled down. I don't trust easily. I don't love easily. As she served me, she encouraged me. As she loved on me, she helped me through forgiveness and grudges that were a stumbling block to me.

I slowly began serving others. I would find myself still being reserved with people and serving minimally. I found that I had a knack for teaching. Through the trials I had been through trying to teach myself taught me how to study the Word and by this time I knew the Word pretty well and felt comfortable enough to step out and teach. Once I set out to embrace this God given gift, doors opened to me. I was a reserved teacher.

My passion has always been new believers and trying to help them in their new walk. That was pretty much the only capacity I was willing to serve in. I could be that teacher and hold myself aloof from others. I did begin to build relationships with other teachers, leaders and a few of the pastors, and I built relationships with the people I was teaching or in a study group with, but I still held back. 

My biggest struggle has always been not knowing what to do and when.  How do I hear His Voice call me to something if I already have a made up answer in my mind?

I have always had low expectations in my life. If you have low expectations, you don't suffer from disappointments. No one can hurt you, if you don't care. No one can tell you that you are making a mistake, if you don't even try. I hid behind my kids for years. I home-schooled and I was busy, so I couldn't possibly give my time to serve. I had 3 kids all within a 3 year age span and they needed me more than the church.

Even when they got older and could care for themselves it still was an excuse I used to justify my lack of servitude to others. I was physically serving, but it was selfish serving. It was serving that made me feel superior if I am honest about it. I felt like a big shot, with pretend humility...because my HEART wasn't joyful in what I was doing. Probably because I let ME get in the way of what GOD wanted to accomplish through me. SO He decided to change His tactic with me.

I had a shaking up at the church I attended and began to attend a new one. I left several positions that I was serving in at the former church. Those were positions that I had worked so hard for and threw my whole life into, but by the end I realized the heart problem that I had. When God pushed me to leave that former church, my reaction was 'But God I worked so hard to get there, I studied so much to be able to teach, I walked through struggles and well Lord YOU are the one that wanted me to do all of that and be IN those positions so what's the DEAL'???

His response through this very slobbery and painful prayer session...was 'Who's is it? Is this you serving yourself, or you serving Me... those are MY positions that I set you in...Leave them behind and do not step one more foot on the ground of that place until I tell you otherwise.' It has been 3 years and I mark that to obedience.

**Philippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.**

As I began attending the new church something began to change. I WANTED to serve. I WANTED to fellowship. I WANTED to hug people and tell them I loved them. I WANTED to give people a piece of myself and not hold it back. I had finally found JOY in serving. I had finally found JOY in fellowship. I had finally found JOY in hugging people and telling them I loved them. I found myself seeking those out across the aisle to hug on or shake hands with and tell them I was glad to see them. I found myself seeking out newcomers and making sure that they weren't missed. Oh but serving on a larger scale...that is tremendous JOY. 

Being so reserved for so long with people has given me the insight to 'read' them.

I see people even in my own little church who are walking the same path I did. I see them coming but not serving and becoming a part of the body. I see children used as the same shield that I did for so many years. I see people wanting pats on their back and self-serving recognition for serving. They haven't found the JOY in Serving.

So how do you know if you are Joyful in Serving? I can give you a recent event as an example.

We recently have had a few large scale events/dinners for the whole church and friends to enjoy. To be able to put on anything of that scale takes a lot of behind the scenes preparations. (Everything that goes into Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings take week long preparations). These preparations take volunteers/servants. Who are the volunteers/servants? The church body, in other words you and me and whoever is sitting next to you and on down the line.

The past 8 months have found me and my husband not being able to serve at all. His medical problems resulted in long hospital stays and a huge gap in church attendance. I was cautious and reserved with what I could volunteer for. So fast forward to this past Sunday. I had volunteered to lead the servers on the food line, but someone (who will remain nameless) decided that the whole thing was my ballgame. Setting it up etc. To say I was a little overwhelmed was an understatement. Even though I felt tremendous pressure I set my face like flint and tamped down those fears. I was distracted by every little thing on Sunday. My focus was wholly on doing a good job for the church. BUT...GOD.

As I began to serve...I found tremendous JOY in serving. I loved to see each and every person come thorough that line and be served. I had someone come to me before service even and ASK if I needed help serving. They had not yet served in the church, I loved that...it gave me tremendous JOY to say yes! I loved being able to serve beside her. Everyone one else asked as well, but they were ones that serve in other capacities in different areas. She sought me out, because I would have never wanted to put her on the spot and put her in that position. I found such JOY in that.

I also found JOY in my husband serving others in standing at the door opening it for others, helping the guys cooking if they needed it. Seeing the JOY in his face to being able to serve again was worth all the hardships we have had and continue to have in our life. God has showed me the JOY He has in me...how could I have made serving all about myself for so many years, when it is ALL about Him?

How could I want to be a leader, but not be willing to humble myself and serve? How could I be jealous of titles and positions and strive to better myself only and not think about the others in my local church body? How could I be so selfish to hold myself back from others when there might be ONE person I could single out to love on, encourage, mentor, and pursue relentlessly when that is what God did for me? How could I not serve and call myself a Christ-follower? He served. Are we greater than Him?

LORD, I praise Your Name and I thank You for everything that You do in my life. Forgive me LORD for all of those years of being self centered, self focused, and stingy with my affections. Thank You Lord for allowing me to see the JOY I have found in serving You and others. Help me to not be selfish. Help me to continue loving on people. Thank You LORD for that mentor so long ago that pursued me with Your love and devotion, I know that it was You and I am grateful she was obedient to Your commands. May others that are falling into the same patterns I did, wake up and find joy in serving. LORD give them an opportunity to say YES and help us as a body to WANT to serve with JOY...In the Mightiness of Jesus' Name, Amen. 

**John 13:12-14  When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.**

**Romans 12:9-13 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.**

Encourage Yourself in the Lord

There are times in our lives where everything feels out of control. It is discouraging when it seems as though prayers go unanswered and those constant prayers become a nuisance even to yourself. It is easy for us, in our society and culture, to continue to look to ourselves or to others for encouragement. Society tells us that we are enough. That if our prayers aren't being answered immediately then there must be something wrong with our faith in God. It tells us that we have to help ourselves and to be all we can be by following 'these' steps. It tells us that we are 'self-made' and can turn a failure into a success. We are made to feel inadequate and are sometimes shamed for feeling down in the dumps.

I've been there.

There have been many times in my own life where I have felt like I have been asking God for the same thing over and over again. I bombarded Him with prayers, petitions and outright begging too. I felt pathetic when I resorted to begging. It didn't stop me, however, and when the answer was a definitive NO, I didn't take it to well...I mean who does? My life felt so completely out of control I didn't know what was up and what was down. I unfortunately spiraled out of control when it came to my relationship with God. I couldn't handle that loss of control. I am a planner. I like to have things a certain way. I like to be organized. I like to have my life in an order that I have decreed.

I never thought in a million years that the LORD would tell me NO.

We've grown up in a yes culture. We have everything at the touch of a button. Can I have a new pair of shoes? Yes, and we will deliver them to your door. Can I have a pizza? Yes, and we will deliver it to you hot and ready. Can I have someone else do my grocery shopping for me? Yes, and we will bring it out to your car and even load it for you. Can I have a burger? Yes, and you can have it anyway you want it. We like things done our way and there is nothing more thrilling than getting things exactly the way we want it.

We've all been there.

So what do we do when everything is upside down in our world? What do we do when life is out of control, laundry is chaos, kids are loud and obnoxious and you feel as though you could scream? What do you do when you want to move on to a new chapter in your life and the LORD doesn't seem to be answering your prayers in a time frame that YOU have given Him? What do you do when a job you want seems unattainable? What do you do when your finances are slowly draining away and you have no clue where the provision will come from? What do you do when your children seem to be taking a path you didn't raise them to take? Your house won't sell, your car breaks down, you realize your friends are fair weather friends, and everyone else around you seems to have the perfect life, spouse and kids?

Life is tough, but God is already there.

His Word encourages us. His Word is Truth. We find abundant Life in Jesus the living Word. He walked among us. He lived in a culture that would make us cringe today. He didn't have a home to call His own (Matthew 8:20). He didn't have His own transportation (Luke 19:30). He was taken out of His realm of comfort and tested beyond what we could endure (Matthew 4:1-11). The leaders of religion were literally after His life (John 11:45-57). His friend betrayed Him (Luke 22:48). His biggest supporter denied Him 3 times and ran away (Luke 22: 54-62). He was tortured beyond comprehension and finally gave His life up (Matthew 27:26-50). He was resurrected and defeated death (Luke 24) and in that we find our encouragement.

Our problems are fleeting in the face of God.

Those times in my life when things seemed out of control, they weren't, because God had His Hand on it. When I felt like His answer was No, it wasn't, its just that He had something better for me. When I felt like His timing was slow, it wasn't, I am just impatient. I found my encouragement in the life of Jesus. I found encouragement in the life of David (a man after God's own heart). I found my encouragement in the life of Job, the life of Moses, the life of Noah, the life of Abraham, and in the life of the Living Word. God's Word isn't some old ancient book that we can't relate to. The story of the skirmishes, battles, wars, betrayals, losing children, losing homes, living in temptation, and living in a culture that counteracts God's commandments. It is the story of human nature and all the depravity that can happen when you are not well connected to God. When I am feeling down and out of sorts I go to the Word. I go to Psalms and read about the goodness of God. I read there about His protection from the enemy. I read about His mercy and Gracious nature. His forgiving heart and His love for His children. What more could we ask for? His Truth should encourage us and give us a sense of rightness in this world.

Go where God has already been in scripture, and see that He is walking with you through your turmoil and discouragement.

Be encouraged!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

**So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. **

Thanksgiving and Christmas: A Fight For Peace

Tonight I circled up the family.  All nine of us.  I reminded everyone that this was the beginning of the holiday season.  Tomorrow we would celebrate Thanksgiving with a huge turkey and all the trimmings.  Family would be joining us and memories would be made.

They listened intently to me as I went on to tell them about how we would have to FIGHT FOR PEACE these next few days.  I told them that peace doesn’t just happen, it is something that is fought for.

I led us all in prayer and asked God to give us the strength to fight for peace these next few days.

It was really a great family moment.  They were tracking with me.  They were REALLY WITH ME.

I said Amen…and everyone went their separate ways.

Not kidding, 30 seconds later…there was a blow up between two of my kids, fighting over who was going to sit in the recliner.  MY RECLINER.

And I broke up the argument by yelling from the kitchen…

“IT’S MY RECLINER AND NO ONE IS SITTING IN IT EXCEPT FOR ME!”

Talk about a win.

But instantly, I turned to my wife Mel and said: “We are OPPOSED in this!”

“Here we are TRYING TO HONOR GOD with how we treat each other and it was blown to pieces in two minutes time!”

And so here I am…sitting at my computer.  Not because I’ve figured this out, but because I haven’t.

See, the holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, are that time of year when OUR EXPECTATIONS AND OUR REALITY are often far apart.

We envision our home filled with the warmth of The Wonderful Life and the humor of Christmas Vacation.

And when our expectations aren’t met, our tempers flare, careless words are spewed, doors are slammed and tears are shed.

So how do we do this?  How do we fight for peace?

I can say that we have seen some success over the years.  It’s obviously not perfect, as indicated by the events I referenced from tonight.

My wife brought me this verse the other day.  Romans 12:9-10

 9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 

It was the last part of verse 10 that jumped off the page at us.

OUTDO one another in showing honor.

What incredible imagery there.  Can you imagine OUTDOING your family members in showing honor?

That is hard when what we really want is to OUTDO them in a shouting match.

Those words OUTDO ONE ANOTHER could also be translated PREFER ONE ANOTHER

Here’s what I know about me.

I don’t like to PREFER ANYONE OVER MYSELF.

I prefer to prefer me.

But can you imagine…how much more PEACEFUL our lives would be if we consistently preferred others over ourselves?

What we have found over the years of navigating the holidays is that it never gets easier.

The stress is always there and our expectations are always high.

But…we come into this season with boundaries.

We declare on SPECIAL DAYS like Thanksgiving and Christmas, that they will be “fight free zones”

We will prefer one another by avoiding landmines in conversations that WE KNOW WILL BLOW UP WHEN WE STEP ON THEM.

We prefer one another by LETTING UNDERHANDED COMMENTS GO WITHOUT A SNARKY RESPONSE.

We prefer one another by asking ourselves: IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT?

Is it worth RUINING THE ENTIRE HOLIDAY in order to get the last word in?

As parents, we prefer the kids over ourselves.

It’s easiest to take our stress and frustration out on our spouse because they are the other adult in the house

What we don’t realize is that WHEN WE RAISE THE TEMPERATURE in our home because we are FIGHTING WITH OUR SPOUSE.

The kids won’t remember the Thanksgiving Meal.

They won’t remember decorating the tree.

They won’t remember making cookies together.

They’ll only remember that mom and dad always fought on holidays. 

And somewhere in there, we put up the tree, made a turkey and burned some cookies.

So as parents, we ask ourselves

What are the memories we want our kids to have?

I know the thought of “making memories” isn’t real spiritual sounding…

But what I do know is that our memories often shape our viewpoints and our viewpoints shape our actions

And honestly, if our home is not a place of peace…why would our kids ever want to come back to visit after they move out?

And if we can’t figure out how to be at peace with each other when only our kids are in the mix…

How will we ever be at peace when our kids marry and bring OTHER PEOPLE into our family.

So tomorrow…we will FIGHT FOR PEACE.

And as one of my favorite preachers Voddie Baucham always says:

“Better today than yesterday.  Better tomorrow than today.”

 Fight for peace.

Tres Dias (That Secret Thing)

I wanted to sit down and write my assessment of Tres Dias as a pastor who has recently attended the weekend.

I have been a pastor on staff at churches ranging in size from 3500 to 50 and am currently lead pastor and church planter at Grand Central Church in Conroe TX.

The reason I write is because like many para-church organizations, Tres Dias can be a thorn in the side of pastors as they wrestle with something unfamiliar.

As pastors, we are typically inundated with “great ideas” from people…and most of the time, they are.  We just have to choose what is BEST for our people, not just GOOD for them.

Because many of my flock at Grand Central are invested in and radical advocates for Tres Dias, I felt it important to attend.  People in my church and outside my church were asking me to speak on the validity of the organization and especially the implementation of their weekend events.

I had nothing to go on.  I had many friends who spoke highly of it, but no clergy that I could talk to about its credibility.   So the best I could tell potential attendees was;

“I don’t know a lot about it, but I can tell you this…the most committed, all-in, warm and hospitable servants at our church have been through it.  If the organization is known by its fruit, then I like what I see.”

To me, that wasn’t good enough.  If I am shepherd of my flock, then I can’t readily protect them from the enemy if I don’t know what it is they are encountering.  I can’t whole-heartedly applaud and endorse a ministry I have no experience with.  So I signed up to attend.

In 20 years of ministry, there is not a camp, retreat or creative experience that I haven’t already participated in, witnessed or orchestrated.  In addition, the appearance of secrecy around Tres Dias only made me that much more cynical and resistant.  So I went in with one eye open. 

After 72 hours of being ministered to by the body of Christ and seeing His hands and feet at work, I was blown away by what God is doing through this ministry.

We as pastors stand up every week and try to inspire our flock to do what is being done with great vigor by the ministry of Tres Dias.  I listened intently for theological errors and bad philosophy…but couldn’t find any.

I do want to take a moment to address the appearance of secrecy that many pastors and leaders hang up on.  Here’s what I would say…it’s no different than a sermon illustration.  Pastors wouldn’t want someone to shout out the PUNCHLINE of their sermon illustration before they were done telling the story.  It would ruin the impact.

The appearance of secrecy around Tres Dias is merely to protect some of the surprise creative elements of the weekend. 

Honestly, in the age of social media where we find out the winners of the Olympic games before we’ve even watched the event, it is harder and harder to bring an element of heart-warming surprise and wonder without someone already knowing what you are doing.

(Some theological troll just tripped up on the fact that I said “heart-warming”)   ;)

Anyhow, I believe in the mission and vision of Tres Dias.  It exists to serve the body of Christ and the local church.  The whole-hearted, invested servants that they send back to the church is something most pastors dream of.  It’s for the newest believer in Christ or the most mature of our faith.

And here’s the deal…they aren’t trying to steal people from the church.  The consistent theme was: 

“We are not a church…what you are learning and seeing here should be TAKEN BACK TO YOUR CHURCH.  In fact, go ask your PASTOR how you can serve him!”

I will encourage my flock to be a part of this ministry because it empowers them to come back to their local church and LIVE OUT their faith. 

I will encourage pastors to go through and see what their people are experiencing and who knows, maybe God could speak something fresh to a pastor like He did to me.  Tres Dias is a tool that could be wisely used by churches of any size and I highly recommend!